Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Its winter???

The last week in India went by so fast it is incomprehensible. So much was jam packed into every hour that I think I went go go go all the time and not much thinking. Praise the Lord for the guidance of the Holy Spirit to guide us when we don’t even know what to prioritize first. But everything works together for good and God’s thoughts are WAY higher than ours!!! So the last week I finished up all my projects and got everything ready for the team. This included cleaning a house for them wearing a surgical mask the dust was so bad. It even got through the mask ewww anyway now the house looks beautiful!!! Lots of hard work but it was all done the day they arrived.
The final days there I spent hours and hours singing playing praying and loving on all the kiddos especially the HIV+ kiddos. I got a little sunburn on my face sitting in the sun that long. Teehee!!! We had family prayer where the children all prayed and sang praise song the children have a worship service and prayer meeting every night amazing huh!!! So we sang everything from I’m trading my sorrows, to This is how we overcome, to Awesome God to Lord we lift your name on high and Friend of God… These children sing their hearts out and when they pray, they pray a long time intensely!
So the last few days I was there I kept praying I wouldn’t lose my voice from all the singing. Which I never did! Praise the Lord…
So many beautiful things happened in all my time with the children, way too many to write all here.
But the last day I was there we woke up at 7 am and ran ragged the entire day. When I went around and said good bye to all the children it was sad yet so fun. I spent a long time with the little HIV- girls where we sang and danced like fools but laughed so hard my abs killed. Then it was off to the HIV- boys where there was more laughing and goofing off as the boys bestowed me with a garland. Then I went to the older HIV- girls for more garlands and BANANAS!!!! So very good!!! Then I had to say goodbye to my sponsor child she had a very hard time smiling through the tears. But she found hope in the fact that her mother who is 24 and HIV+ will be getting a job at agape and going to the school to better her education and life. AMAZING HUH!!! So before I left the girls asked if they could pray for me, how precious!! So they all got down on their knees and laid hands on me and prayed for a good 15 minutes. My sponsor child Haseena prayed as well which I think helped the goodbye process. After they prayed for me I prayed for each of them and as a group concerning the issues of the hostel and the interrelationships between the girls. They are middle school and high school so all the problems are the same there interpersonally as there is in the US so prayer is needed!!! Anyway so I was able to mentor the girls and help them work out some of the dynamics.
From there I went to the HIV+ kiddos and said goodbye to all of them. I had to pick 3 kids to pray for me so I asked them who wated to pray for me,a bunch raised their hands- talk about a tough pick. So I chose 2 girls Ravali and Kajal and then looked at the boys with their hands up. Little Saimanikunta had his tiny hand raised I asked lynne if I could choose him. She said sure and smiled with a great look of surprise and said no one else would ever have given him a chance. Sai really doesn’t have much verbal abilities except for mimicking the melody of a song I am singing which is beyond adorable. But look at him does it get much cuter!!! I don’t think so!!! Anyway Sai comes up a little confused because he wasn’t expecting to be picked.. he stood next to me squinted his eyes shut put his hands together in front of his face and began to pray, well I think he was praying. In a mix of Telegu, Hindi and some definite Holy Spirit tongues he pored his little 2foot body into this prayer. I was shocked as well as Lynne and the others there that he actually prayed. It was beyond precious! No one knows what he prayed but we all know Jesus knew his little heart. What is more precious than a little child praying over you, I can’t think of anything! Sai is a 6yr old boy the size of a two year old who was so mal-nourished when he came with full blown aids that his speech and language development is below the level of a 2yr old so his age is shocking but his heart will shock you even more. The other girls prayed for me and I was able to understand some of it even though it was all in Telegu. Then Deepak my man put a garland around my neck soooo cute!!!
Right before I left Ravali called me over, I thought she was gonna hand me cards- which they did but the real reason they called me over was way more precious!!! I went over 10lb garland around my neck and all and started talking to them they hushed me to be quiet which was confusing but then all the girls in unison went “Spppp sppp chukka chukka mua ta ahhhh” not exactly sure how to spell all that since most of it is tongue clicks which aren’t in the dictionary but in a strange un explanatory way this is a funny way to say “I love you” I taught a few girls how to do it and they in turn taught all the HIV+ girls and they did it together to say goodbye to me!! I know its a little lame but I teared up as they did it and am tearing up now thinking about it, man I love these girls!!! So after a ton of hugs and I’ll miss u’s it was on to the last hostel, the little HIV- boys. At this point it was almost 10pm and I walked into find all the little boys sleeping in a row on the floor, talk about precious. We were only able to wake up a few so the sleeping ones I kissed and said I love you and goodbye too. The ones who were up gave me a garland and laid hands on me and prayed. They were so groggy and sleepy it was so cute! So then we went back to the house and got my stuff and headed to the bus we were taking to the airport.
After a hour ride to the airport we were pulling in and lynne asked rutnam where my luggage was and he laughed and said in the car. I was not sure how to react cause the car was in uppal, an hour away!!!! It took me a good 5 minutes to believe Rutname that he had seriously forgot to bring my luggage!!!! So we picked up the team at 1am loaded them onto the bus, and drove back to uppal, that the lordmy flight wasn’t till 7:20am. It was such a God thing that we forgot my luggage. I would have hung out at the airport for 5 hrs instead of helping lynne move in the team. I was able to haul luggage with my boys (the 16yr old orphan boys, who had been my helpers/ bodyguards all month) Got to love them!!!! And I was able to field so many of the questions the team had on the ride home and once we got to their house. I even killed a cockroach before any of the guest saw him in their room.
I so didn’t want to leave and it really didn’t feel like I was since I came back from the airport with them. They all though I lived in India hahah how funny is that!! Anyway so at 4am my 5 boys and chekropani the driver and I (with my luggage this time) loaded double checked this time:) We got to the airport said our goodbyes then I was off to concur Hyderabad’s airport AHHH!!!
So I got through security to my gate and then ate some funky food and got on the plane! Couldn’t sleep at all which is funny because as I boarded I had officially been wide awake and peppy for 24 complete crazy hours!!! Once in London and through security ate a sandwich yummy and then waited to board again. Once on the plan I did the math an realized I had been awake for 40hrs!!!! and then I crashed!!!! I slept the whole plan flight from London to home, which is good cause I needed to get some zzzz’s So my last bite of Indian food was on the airplane, and to my surprise they served my favorite India dish YEAHWHOZY biryani, oh good!!! The stuff not on the airplane is way better but I’m not complaining!!! So I got off the plan and honestly it seemed like an hour ago I was with the kids in India helping the team into the house, I must have been in a serious coma zombie existence cause it really didn’t feel like it was over 24hrs ago I was there. So I Got my bags and went out and got to hug my family and talk to my dad who was boarding a plan as I got was leaving the airport:( but I’ll see him Friday. (love u dad big hugs if you are reading this!!!!) So arrival home was wonderful it was like I never left!! Its weird I feel like I should be in India now but there is a huge snow storm outside lol so I am in kind of a funky state of mind I feel like I should still be there but I know God is in control and has all of it in his hands. I look forward to sharing more stories with you and what home is like besides the cold. Today I am off to go sledding and drink cocoa!!! There are a few wonderful things about winter!!!!! Hugs to you all and thank you for all your prayers and support.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Laying Down Self (not so easy but so necessary)

So I went to update all of you many times today and decided not to because I could not for the life of me decide what to write about. I didnt feel I had anything update worthy. As many of you know I spent the better or all of Thursday Friday and Saturday in bed, this didnt bring about much to share besides what was in the last post. So as all of you are getting out of bed and drinking your morning coffee and heading off to church, others of you are at dairy conventions (shout out to my WI family) :) I am just finishing well almost finishing a big project. Today I woke up feeling alot better but missed my ride to Uppal because I was reading the bible:) I do believe God allowed me to miss the ride as it is now 6pm ish and my ride would have just now dropped me off and its been and up and down tummy day. The big project I was referring to was working on planing and organizing the missions teams agenda. They are coming from Illinois and land the day I leave. So I am making all of the packets for the team so they can help the kids write their letters to their sponsors. I will do the pre-school kids because the team doesnt know them so it would be to hard for them to do it. And I am looking forward to hanging with my little ones and playing with paint:) at least thats what i want to do, not sure if lynne will go for it:)
So health wise I am doing ok, continual prayer would be appreciated as my stomach is acting up in a way it has never before it hurts really bad all of a sudden and i have to lay down and i have this excessive acidity thing goin on... not fun...
But I decided to update you on what the past few days has been all about besides being sick. as you read in the last post I have learned alot about the creator of the universe. And I have also realized how much I dont even begin to even begin to realize to understand about Him. The fact thats it is not about doing His will or living His purpose out in your life but about having a Love Relationship With Him that out of that you do everything in life out of Love for Him thus it is in His will arbitrarily. Its kind of complex yet so simple, even as I am typing it I am still trying to grasp it. So if you want to hear the Lord its first about developing a loving relationship with Him.. so thats what I am working on denying self- not easy, and loving Him!! so yeah tonight as all of you are in church I am gonna spend the evening in prayer, because relationships take time and with my busy life i NEED to learn how to prioritize my time and not give Him the last from my field but the first the best, what I would give to a man I am madly in love with.. s enjoy church this morning, enjoy worshiping this amazing loving God we serve and know I am worshiping with you!!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Only in HIM we find True Rest

So I really dont know where to begin. Well I guess I can begin in end with God, since He is Alpha and Omega. So i guess I can end with Him too, which is good cause I was planning on it. :) He is so good to His children.

If any of you have been updated in the last 3 days you would have heard that I was sick. It began with post nasal drip and a burning throat, which was later accompanied by a fever and then body aches that made it painful to stand, sit in a car, or even lay down in bed. Thus, I spent the past 2 days in bed. In the past 2 days I have probably spent less then an hour off of my bed that is on the floor. In that time I was miserable trying to see how God was being glorified in this. Why would he allow me to fly half way around the world and spend 2 days getting aquainted with my ceiling fan.

This morning I woke up and showered only to find that a severe case of nausa was now added to the mix. So this morning I had and antibiotic, a pain killer, decongestant, and because it is friday a millaria pill, and an anti-nausa pill, which all of these did nothing! who would have thought that a drug coctail like this along with pepto and coke and crackers would only make me feel worse???

So today was spent holding back tears as I laid in bed alone wishing I felt better or I had family or friends to support me. I e-mailed people and even chatted with my dear aunt and my parents a few minutes before they went off to work. But nothing made me feel better I only got worse and worse. i was cold yet skin on fire and sweating. then i would get so hot and there was no relief. I couldnt get up because if I did the world would spin and the nausa would increase to an intolerable level.

So after hours of rest and not moving and no relief i put on worship music soft and shut my lap top off and laid their tears streaming down my face in the darkness. I was completely beat, helpless, and scared. i just started to pray. I have been learnign so much with all this time in bed i have done alot of reading about a relationship with Jesus and being in His presence and about how it is all about LOVEing HIM!

So I am laying in the dark just praising Him and proclaiming How i love Him just because He is EVERYTHING. and because on my own I can do absolutly nothing. that is one thing i saw while being so sick was that in my flesh I can do nothing, I cant eat walk nothing without HIM. so if I cant do any of that I sure as well cant love a perfect God who I cant see. So I asked Him to help me love Him. Slowley i felt a tad better to the point where I was praising Him sitting up. (Which was a big deal for me) and then I decided i wanted to be ready to fall asleep so that I could fall asleep in is presence not worrying about taking my 2nd dose of antibiotic or brushing my teeth- which now i realize i shouldnt have worried about that anyway. So I got up, took my meds and went to brish my teeth. I was brishing and worshiping Him and was in awe that He had given me the strength to stand sturdy. So i made myself gag by accident and then i was hit with a wall of nausa but i didnt feel alone for the first time all day I felt peace. As the nausa got worse and worse I spoke out loud "I trust you God, I trust in you" Who knew you could praise and worship the Lord and throw up simultaneously!!!

It was such a freeing experance its like He was waiting for me to realize I could do nothing, and everything and everyone I run to in life for support could do nothing. He wanted me to run to Him in my time of need. He waited till I exausted all of my comforts and ran to Him in despiration and when I was there he fifted my head and said what took you so long! He rid me of everything- harhar pun very intended, and gave me peace.

Yes my body is exausted but I have learned a beautiful lesson. God is Love and the way we walk in a relationship with Him is LOVE Him. and when u love someone you run to them in your time of need. God loves us more then any family any txt or e-mail or prayer or person ever could and He wants to lavish that upon us but He does not want to be second to anything. God is a jelous God. So we have to shut the laptop, turn off the internet and phone and not rely on earthly things and praise Him in the all circumstances. He gave me Psalm 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." as I began to praise Him befor the throwing up even happened. It gave me a comfort that I was not alone and even though I had no control over my body or my circumstances, He had control, He made my body, and Has all the power to heal and restore in His timing. And looking back, even with the weekness learking in my body and well aware that tomorrow I could feel dreadful again, I am praising the Lord for the lesson He taught me. In the last post I mentioned i was asking the lord to help me prioritize my life. Man He took me literally, He showed me the relief I put first and long to have comfort me pale in compareison to Him. We serve a Jelous God! Who is Worthy to be praised!!!! so Be blessed as I have been blessed. I am going to go to sleep now resting and praying God's healing power in my life, Because in HIM WE FIND OUR REST!!!!